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• Why PAb-nork, you ask? All will become clear. (Not really, though.)
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• Is that me waving? My left hand is enormous!
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• At this point, I am getting curious about b-n.
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• Gottfried is definitely of the "hates mushrooms" persuasion.
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• I had to have this explained to me, but I think it's really funny. The robot in the middle is mad because he can't figure out how to get that paint brush back in the bucket! I can totally relate (being a robot who also has trouble painting things).
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• Buy plenty of socks raised to the b-n power? Seriously, what is this b-n thing?
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• I could not agree more.
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• This one was a super-cool foldout page!
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• That's, um... *counts fingers*... 1.
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• That's easy! It's just... uh... *busts out Matlab*... 2. Oh, could have guessed that from context clues.
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• This was so awesome! I was honored to be in the wedding :)
• The back of the booklet shows one more little robot:
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• If you're still reading this, you may be wondering what the diddly "b-n" is supposed to mean. When I received this booklet from Gottfried I knew I would have to figure out what it meant, and I knew that it would probably be something so random that I was unlikely to guess. I sent Gottfried this email:
  
  
• Dear Gottfried,
• Wow. You are truly an inspiration to our species, my friend. Homo Sapiens of all races, creeds, and number of nostrils look up on you and say: (1) Holy Moses, that guy is cool!, or (2) Holy Bosus, that guy is cool (if they have zero nostrils).
• To begin with (as if I had not begun already), I would be honored to be a groomsman at your wedding. In fact, thrilled. Thank you so much!
• Now, there is something quite important that is bothering me immensely. I received your booklet entitled "PAb-nork" and was quickly overcome with joy. Which turned into perplexedness. Which then turned back into joy (at the end). I CANNOT determine what the HECK "b-n" could possibly mean!
• Here's what I've noticed: First of all, b-n appears in the name PAb-nork. I suspect that the PA signifies Pennsylvania. I am not sure what, if anything, the ork signifies.
• Further, I noticed that in many (7) of the early pages of the booklet, b-n is inscribed on various surfaces: The airplane, the thermonuclear heating device, a sign reading "Beware b-n", several robots, and one page seems to suggest "Buy plenty of socks raised to the b-n power."
• With this in mind (and to be sure, it IS on my mind), I give you the:
• TOP TEN THINGS b-n MIGHT MEAN:
• 10. Be Nice (Karianne's immediate suggestion)
• 9. asBestos biNdu (3rd letter of each)
• 8. Barbecued Nuggets
• 7. book_for_derek_njdrsgn - njdrsgn (which equals book_for_derek)
• 6. bye!_i_am_in north_carolina!
• 5. b-n (if this is what it stands for, I will kill you.)
• 4. Bending_derek's_brai n
• 3. be_confusing?_me? never!
• 2. And to save you the trouble, we don't have "b-n" by Darles Chickens with four M's and a silent Q! Why don't you try W. H. Smiths.
• 1. bork_bork_bork - ni_herney_herney
• I have a sad feeling that I am nowhere near correct with ANY of these guesses, but there they are. I would take a hint, if you could provide one.
• Derek
  
  
  
• Well, I don't have Gottfried's response (I think it was on the phone), but it turns out that I actually guessed correctly with... #5. That's right, it just means b-n.
• Avast, me hearties! I'll get him when he least expects it!